Arrogant Worms – The Prescription Song lyrics

I woke up the first morning,
And I felt very bad,
I wondered if it might have been,
Something that I'd had.
So I went to my doctor,
A very learned man,
Knowing that he'd have
The problem well in hand.

He said, "Fellow, my poor fellow,
You don't look very up.
Could you please give me a cough
And pee into this cup?"
He pondered for a minute,
And he said, "You've got the flu.
Here, take these pills,
Who knows what they may do."

He gave me Tylenol and Clearasil
And butanol and tennis balls
And water from Niagara Falls and hormones from Japan.
And vitamins and paraffins,
And some beta-carotenes and bits of tuna and dolphin that he got from a can.

I woke up the second morning,
And felt worse than the first.
My head was full of mucous,
I swore that it would burst.
My skin was cold and clammy
And my hands were large and green,
So I went back to my doctor,
His knowledge for to glean.

He said, "Fellow, my poor fellow,
What have you done wrong?
If you'd followed my instructions,
Your illness would be gone."
I told him, "But I took everything you gave."
So he gave me some more and told me to "Go away"

He gave me Tylenol and Clearasil
And butanol and tennis balls
And water from Niagara Falls and hormones from Japan.
And vitamins and paraffins,
And some beta-carotenes and bits of tuna and dolphin that he got from a can.

I woke up the third morning
And found out I was dead,
There was six feet of dirt,
Right above my head.
My friends were at the funeral,
Saying bye to me.
Then I heard that doctor,
Giving the eulogy.

He said,"Fellow, my poor fellow,
Oh I should've known!
That he would take too many pills,
When left all alone."
So here I lie forever,
Cursing my sorry lot.
But I'm so full of chemicals,
That I shall never rot.

'Cause I took Tylenol and Clearasil
And butanol and tennis balls
And water from Niagara Falls and hormones from Japan.
And vitamins and paraffins,
And some beta-carotenes and bits of tuna and dolphin that he got from a can.

Tylenol and Clearasil
And butanol and tennis balls
And water from Niagara Falls and hormones from Japan.
And vitamins and paraffins,
And some beta-carotenes and bits of tuna and dolphin that he got from a can.

And I won't do that again.