Carpenter Mary-Chapin – Opening Act lyrics

You don’t have a backstage room of your own
You just have feedback in your microphone
‘Cause you don’t get a soundcheck
‘Cause you’re not worth the time
You’re gonna have to face it
You’re no better than slime
You don’t know me; I’m the opening act

There’s a cold cut platter and beer for the crew
Don’t get the impression that there’s any for you
‘Cause you’re at the bottom of the pecking order
Even the bouncer at the door comes before you
You don’t know me; I’m the opening act

The right attitude will get me such a long way
An optimistic view will make it OK
When some fool in the front row yells, “YOU SUCK!”
I’ll thank him profusely and get ready to duck

I don’t have a hit in the Billboard charts
I don’t have a limousine that stretches three blocks
Ready to take me from door to door
Just like that asshole I’m opening for
He doesn’t know me; I’m his opening act

Now I’m not going bald, so I don’t wear a hat
Tight jeans don’t fit me; I’m a little too fat
I can’t sing like a frog blowing farts through his nose
So I don’t expect you’ll like me, but that’s how it goes

Now for 37 minutes I sang out my heart
I was so damn nervous I just wanted to barf
This is my career, and I’m paying my dues
If I ever get rich and famous, I’ll guess I’ll be an asshole too
‘Till then, you don’t know me; I’m the opening act