Empty Hats – A Toast To Love And Marriage lyrics

When I was just a lad, me mum said "Darlin' Paddy,
so's you won't be sad someday you'll want to marry
it's time we had this chat on how to find a wife for you.
Old, young, skinny, or fat, the best to make a life for you.

Just seek a girl with charms, like Venus but with arms,
to keep your bed all warm and happily married will you be.
It's how I caught your dad, me beauty drove him mad,
and now you see he's had these many years of marital bliss and harmony."

Raise your glasses high and toast to love and marriage
we'll never understand 'til they slide our coffins from the carriage
Whack-fe-lol-da-rah

But then I turned fourteen, me pa said, "Darlin' Paddy,
I'll teach you the routine to find the girl to marry,
You'll have the benefit of all me experience
in a relationship of lasting joy and permanence.

Just marry an ugly girl, the oyster not the pearl,
the ugliest in the world, 'cause a bonny lass could leave ya.
I'm telling you now, me son, it's the reason I married your mum,
so do as I have done, if an ugly girl, she leaves you.
you'll find you don't really mind."

Raise your glasses high and toast to love and marriage
we'll never understand 'til they slide our coffins from the carriage
Whack-fe-lol-da-rah

So's I've grown up a bit confused, love was such a bother
Courted pretty girls, and some that looked like me mother
So Mom and dear old Dad, the words to me you've spoken,
I feel that I've been had, me heart is always broken

When I thought Id found true love, and I'm thanking God above,
push it came to shove and I'm back out on me bum again
I'm telling you lads it's true, no longer will I woo
me heart is black and blue, I'll leave this game of love to you
I'm going off to become a priest!

Raise your glasses high and toast to love and marriage
we'll never understand 'til they slide our coffins from the carriage
Raise your glasses high and toast to love and marriage
we'll never understand 'til they slide our coffins from the carriage
Whack-fe-lol-da-rah