[JACK]
But it isn't my fault,
I was given those beans!
You persuaded me to trade away
My cow for beans!
And without those beans
There'd have been no stalk
To get up to the Giants
In the first place!
[BAKER]
Wait a minute, magic beans
For a cow so old
That you had to tell
A lie to sell
It, which you told!
Were they worthless beans?
Were they oversold?
Oh, and tell us who
Persuaded you
To steal that gold.
[LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD (To Jack)]
See, it's your fault.
[JACK]
No!
[BAKER]
Yes it's your fault...
[JACK]
No!
[LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD]
Yes, it is!
[JACK]
It's not!
[BAKER]
It's true.
[JACK]
Wait a minute-
But I only stole the gold
To get my
Cow back from you!
[LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD (To Baker)]
So it's your fault!
[JACK]
Yes!
[BAKER]
No, it isn't!
I'd have kept those beans,
But our house was cursed.
She made us get a cow to get
The curse reversed!
[WITCH]
It's your father's fault
That the curse got placed
And the place got cursed
In the first place!
[LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD]
Oh.
Then it's his fault!
[WITCH]
So.
[CINDERELLA]
It was his fault...
[JACK]
No.
[BAKER]
Yes, it is,
It's his.
[CINDERELLA]
I guess...
[JACK]
Wait a minute, though-
I chopped down the beanstalk-
Right? That's clear.
But without any beanstalk,
Then what's queer
Is how did the second Giant get down here
In the first place?
Second place...
[CINDERELLA]
Yes!
[LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD]
How?
[BAKER]
Hmmm...
[JACK]
Well,
Who had the other bean?
[BAKER]
The other bean?
[CINDERELLA]
The other bean?
[JACK (To Baker)]
You pocketed the other bean.
[BAKER]
I didn't!
Yes I did.
[LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD]
So it's your-!
[BAKER]
No, it isn't,
'Cause I gave it to my Wife!
[LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD]
So it's her-!
[BAKER]
No, it isn't!
[CINDERELLA]
Then whose is it?
[BAKER (To Cinderella)]
Wait a minute!
She exchanged that bean
To obtain your shoe,
So the one who knows what happened
To that bean is you!
[CINDERELLA]
You mean that old bean-
That your Wife-? Oh, dear-
But I never knew,
and so I threw,
well Don't look here!
[LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD]
So it's your fault!
[CINDERELLA]
But-
[JACK]
See, it's her fault-
[CINDERELLA]
But-
[JACK]
And it isn't mine at all!
[BAKER (To Cinderella)]
But what?
[CINDERELLA (To Jack)]
Well, if you hadn't gone
Back up again-
[JACK]
We were needy-
[CINDERELLA]
You were greedy!
Did you need that hen?
[JACK]
But I got it for my Mother-!
[LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD]
So it's her fault then!
[CINDERELLA]
Yes? And what the harp
In the third place?
[BAKER]
The harp- yes!
[JACK]
She went and dared me to!
[LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD]
I dared you to?
[JACK]
You dared me to!
She said that I was scared-
[LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD]
Me?
[JACK]
To.
She dared me!
[LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD]
No, I didn't!
[BAKER, CINDERELLA, JACK]
So it's your fault!
[LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD]
Wait a minute-!
[CINDERELLA]
If you hadn't dared him to-
[BAKER (To Jack)]
And you had left the harp alone,
We wouldn't be in trouble
In the first place!
[LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD (To Cinderella)]
Well, if you hadn't thrown away the bean
In the first place-!
[CINDERELLA]
Well, if she hadn't raised them in the first place-!
[LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD (To Cinderella)]
It was your fault!
[JACK (To Witch)]
Yes, if you hadn't raised them in the first place-!
[LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD & BAKER (To Witch)]
Right! It's you who raised them in the first place-!
[CINDERELLA]
You raised the beans in the first place!
[JACK]
It's your fault!
[CINDERELLA, JACK, BAKER, LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD]
You're responsible!
You're the one to blame!
It's your fault!