Jack Sheldon & Schoolhouse Rock – Rufus Xavier Sarsaparilla lyrics

Now, I have a friend named Rufus Xavier Sarsaparilla,
And I could say that Rufus found a kangaroo
That followed Rufus home
And now that kangaroo belongs
To Rufus Xavier Sarsaparilla.
Whew! I could say that, but I don't have to,
'Cause I got pronouns,
I can say, "HE found a kangaroo that followed HIM home and now IT is HIS"

You see, (uh) HE, HIM, and HIS are pronouns,
Replacing the noun
Rufus Xavier Sarsaparilla,
A very proper noun.
And IT is a pronoun, replacing the noun, kangaroo! (How common!)

Now Rufus has a sister named Rafaella Gabriela Sarsaparilla.
If she found a kangaroo I'd say to you:
"SHE found a kangaroo that followed HER home, and now it is HERS."
But I can't say that...
'Cause she found an aardvark
That fell in love with HER and THEY're so happy.

And my name's Albert Andreas Armadillo.
(No relation to the Sarsaparillas.)
Because of pronouns, I can say:
"I wish SHE would find a rhinoceros for ME, and WE'd be happy."
You see, a pronoun was made to take the place of a noun,
'Cause saying all those nouns over and over
Can really wear you down!

Now I could tell you Rafaella Gabriela and Rufus Xavier Sarsaparilla and Albert Andreas Armadillo found an aardvark, a kangaroo, and a rhinoceros. And now that aardvark and that kangaroo and that rhinoceros belong respectively to Rafaella Gabriela Sarsaparilla and Rufus Xavier Sarsaparilla and Albert Andreas Armadillo!
Whew! Because of pronouns I can say, in this way:
"WE found THEM and THEY found US, and now THEY are OURS and WE're so happy." Thank you pronoun!

You see a pronoun was made to take the place of a noun,
'Cause saying all those nouns over and over
Can really wear you down.

Sometimes, when we take 'em all on the bus
People really raise a fuss.
They start shouting out a lot o' pronouns at us, like
"WHO brought that rhinoceros on this bus?" and
"WHAT made that horrible noise?" and
"WHICH one of them is getting off first?"

WHO, WHAT, and WHICH are special pronouns that can ask a question
In a sentence where you do not know the name of the noun,
But I know:
I have MINE, and SHE has HERS,
and he has his. Do YOU have YOURS?
THEY love US, and WE love THEM,
WHAT's OURS is THEIRS--
That's how it is with friends,
And pronouns, you are really friends, yeah!

'Cause saying all those nouns over and over
Can really wear you down.