Jonathan Coulter – Ikea lyrics

Long ago, in days of yore
It all began with a God named Thor
There were Vikings and boats
And some plans for a furniture store
It's not a bodega, it's not a mall
And they sell things
For apartments smaller than mine
As if there were apartments smaller than mine

(CHORUS):
Ikea: just some oak and some pine
And a handful of Norsemen
Ikea: selling furniture for college kids
And divorced men
Everyone has a home
But if you don't have a home
You can buy one there

So rent a car or take the bus
Lay your cash down and put your trust
In a land where the furniture
Folds to a much smaller size
Billy the bookcase says hello
And so does a table whose name is Ingo
And the chair is a ladder-back birch
But his friends call him Karl

(CHORUS)

Ikea: plywood, brushed steel
Ikea: meatballs, tasty
Ikea: allen wrenches
All of them for free
All of them for me

I'm sorry I said Ikea sucks
I just bought a table for sixty bucks
And a chair and a lamp
And a shelf and some candles for you
I was a doubter, just like you
'Til I saw the American dream come true
In New Jersey, they got a
Goddamned Swedish parade

(CHORUS)