Justin Farren – The Sweater Song lyrics

Where did I leave my sweater
Where did I leave my sweater
Where did I...
Aww shit, I think I left it in Santa Cruz

At that show I played
At the university college
Ten dining commons
Multi-purpose room

Yes I remember it all clearly now
I was packing up my things
When a young female student
Said I sound exactly like Jason Mraz

And it was then that I set down my sweater
To appear natural and un-offended
As our conversation shifted to autographs
And was then abruptly ended
When I signed her new CD 'Jason Mraz'

So tomorrow I'll go to Mervyn's
Tomorrow I'll go to Mervyn's
Tomorrow I'll wake up early
I hope my sweater's still on sale

And I can see 'em all like vultures
At the Cherokee brand clearance rack
And by the time I get through
All they'll have left is triple XL

And If my sweater's not on sale
I will wait there until it is
And I will shiver while I wait
Because it's cold

And while I'm shivering while I'm waiting
For my sweater to go on sale
I'll imagine that girl from Santa Cruz
Being swallowed by a whale
And blaming her new life in a whale's belly on Jason Mraz

So I was standing in line at Mervyn's
And the guy in front of me
Was obviously wearing a toupee
And I started thinking to myself

"What if all our lives were just
Really long one act plays
In which we shitty actors try desperately
To be somebody else"

Like hey look at me, I've got a fancy house
Somebody killed a cow and made my couch
And I've got synthetic hair
Velcroed to my head

And if that's the case then I'm concerned
That I'm too young to know the truth
And I'll have to spend the next sixty-five years
Trying to recapture my youth
You know there aren't many words that rhyme with 'Mraz'

So when I go bald I'm shaving it off
When I go bald I'm shaving it off
When I go bald I'll never ever
Wear a rug

I'll let the neighbor kids
Draw dragonflies
And beautiful Bengal tigers on my head
When I go ba-a-a-ld enough

And if my wife's embarrassed by the tigers
And she won't be seen in public with me
Then I'll divorce her
And the divorce will be relatively quick and painless

Cause she can keep the house, she can keep the couch
And whatever I left behind
She can even have my sweater
If she ever happens to find it
I am moving out to the woods where I belong

Yes I am moving out to the woods where I belong
Yes I am moving out to the woods where I belong
Yes I am moving out to the woods where I belong