Lardpony – The Girl Who Loved Slaughter lyrics

I was trying to go vegetarian, but she spiked my meals with meat
And when I slept she placed real leather shoes upon my feet
I phoned up her father and said "I'd like to marry your daughter"
And he said "are you sure? She's the girl who loves slaughter"

I took her to a safari park, she smuggled in a gun
She said "take a potshot at that wolf, it's a world of fun"
I said I didn't want to, but she frowned and said "you oughta"
And that's when I got scared of the girl who loved slaughter

This story has a happy end, though I feared for my life
I managed to avoid her when she bought a carving knife
I don't know where she is now, but I hope the police caught her
And she's getting the treatment she deserves as a girl who loves slaughter