Liam Lynch – The Panda Song lyrics

(intro)
Hosts: hi as you know we like to do allot of charity work
and so uh today we got a special guest coming in
the're going to send someone in from the city Zoo
as part of the uh animal awareness week
something we're just really proud of doing
and we try to do it atleast once a year
*guitar sound from no where*
*short pause* no way buddy you are outta here
crazy guy: I have to sing my tale to the panda
host: You can't sing you're not a muscician no way
*cough cough* don't let him do this-
crazy guy: this next song
is the new first song from our new album
host: what?
crazy guy: this is not a flabble song this is the panda

(actual song)
After dark the pandas stalk
Nightmeare creatures with black hearts
Ravenous teeth that glow in the dark
feasting on bums that sleep in the park

Chorus:
the pandas are coming!
so hide under your bed!
the pandas are comng!
they'll rip your ass to shreads!

hosts: get out of the studio! get out! get out of here dude! hey panda boy.

crazy guy: i shant!
the panda is indeed the most mysterious of all creatures
shrouded in the inigma of it's black and white coat
what kind of camoflauge is this?
black and white?
hiding in an oreo factory could be
that's just another chapter in the endless saga of the panda!

chorus
the pandas are coming!
to rip off your head!
the pandas are coming!
on a rampage of the dead!

hosts: what the hell.

crazy guy: like the shark the panda has millions of teeth-

hosts: okay cut off the oxygen to the other room

crazy guy: -which it uses like a hack saw to cut through bones, candy, and fences

hosts: uh that's a lie

grazy guys: the chineese believe that if you find a discarded panda tooth,
you have the powers to summon godzilla!

hosts: wow!

crazy guy: i'm drunk on panda mystery!

Chorus:
the pandas are coming!
so hide under your bed!
the pandas are comng!
they'll rip your ass to shreads!

this has been chapter one of my ongoing songs about the panda
we shall seize at number 820
you will see me again mr. siffel!

hosts: just, uh get a clue-

grazy guy: get a panda!