They put you down and call you crazy
Say "You're disgusting and uncool!"
Just because you like to touch yourself
Out by the public swimming pool
You've gotta fight for your right to masturbate!
You've gotta fight for your right to masturbate!
You used to do it in the park
But the powers that be didn't like it
THey called you "pervert" and "criminal"
Now you have to use a blanket
You've gotta fight for your right to masturbate!
You've gotta fight for your right to masturbate!
You've got to fight!
Pass the acorn butter!
7-11 two for a dollar!
They say that you'll go blind
And your ruining your health
But how can anybody love anyone in this crazy world
If you can't love yourself?
You've gotta fight for your right to masturbate!
You've gotta fight for your right to masturbate!
You've gotta fight for your right to masturbate!
You've gotta fight for your right to masturbate!
You've gotta fight! Awww...
I wanna take you out for ice cream
I wanna take you out for ice cream
I wanna take you out for ice cream
And show you a real good time
I wanna take you to the baseball game
I wanna take you to the baseball game
Buy you peanuts and crackerjacks
And show you a real good time
No I wont break into your apartment
Hit you on the head with a chair
Pull down my pants, take a dump on your rug
And wave my dick in the air, NO!!
I wanna take you out for ice cream
I wanna take you out for ice cream
I wanna take you out for ice cream
And show you a real good time
I know a girl, Nikki Webster
The cutest in the world, Nikki Webster
Strawberry curls, Nikki Webster
Yeah you're the tops of pops
Nikki Webster
So far away, across the sea
Down in Australia, that's where she be
At the movies, at the show
Eating Hungry Jacks, on the radio
She likes to ride her horse, Nikki Webster
Swimming's her favorite sport, Nikki Webster
She's only 3 foot 4, Nikki Webster
What can I do? I love you!
Nikki Webster
Can I take you home? Lock you in a cage?
Poke you with a stick, and feed you mayonnaise?
Won't you jump around like a monkey in a zoo
If I dress up like a clown, is it allright with you?
Is it allright with you?
We love you Nikki Webster!