Number1hater – Remote lyrics

If I had a remote that could change things
I Would change the channel every time your nagging me
Every time you talk I would press mute
And change the channel to someone who's cute
On ESPN there's always sports
I could watch OJ Simpson on the people court
I would change how I always gotta be right
Win a new car on the price is right
I Would stay up to watch Conan O'Brien
I Don't got a job and I'm not even trying
I Could go any where in this piece
and get Donald trump a new hair piece
I wanna be real famous for absolutely nothing
like how Paris Hilton is for humping
Eww I wish I had a remote that could change my life
I would pick it up and make everything right
You could look at me every night on channel 9
I wanna get back to my home tonight
I don't want the batteries to die
If we want things to happen then I gotta try
when the parents wanted to talk
I would hit the power button and turn them off
I look a beyonce and I wish I knew her
If I broke the law Id be on house arrest like Martha Stewart
I wanna through a party and invite all my friends
I wanna be on full house with the Olsen twins
So tell me who wants to marry a dwarf ?
like ken Jennings I wanna be a dork.
I wish I could make a bunch of bank
And be chilling with tyra banks.
Bobbie discovered his girl friend was really a dude on jenny Jones
Now he wants teddy to leave him alone
What kinda girl has an adams apple
with a matching 5 oclock shadow
I cant imagine how dumb he feels
I Would make it so I could get a record deal
Eww I wish I had a remote that could change my life
I would pick it up and make everything right
You could look at me every night on channel 9
I wanna get back to my home tonight
I don't want the batteries to die
If we want things to happen then I gotta try
Clay akon lost American idol
Then he got all suicidal
No wait that was me
sleep with prostitutes like Charlie sheen
I would change how my minds always drifts
And get myself some Christmas gifts
Jose Conseco wants to make a book
And brag about all steroids he took
He got injected from behind
I bet he enjoyed it every time
I really want kobe bryants life
to shoot hoops then cheat on my wife
Then have to buy her a diamond ring
like ashlee simpson I Wanna lip sync
on Saturday night live and get caught
And then laugh about all the publicity I got
Like anna nichole I wanna marry rich
Then gain 300 pounds and be a bitch
Trim spa is my favorite place
I go home and stuff food all over my face
Eww I wish I had a remote that could change my life
I would pick it up and make everything right
You could look at me every night on channel 9
I wanna get back to our home tonight
I don't want the batteries to die
If we want things to happen then I gotta try
My lifes like an infomercial
My lifes like a re re run
My lifes like a canceld show
I'm on the first seassion , And Im going strong
Get me back to my remote,
Im gonna write the script to my destiny
I wanna be like on the man show
I want have juggies hug me wherever I go
oh oh
back to my remote
lifes in my hands