Southpaw – Reading The Hobbit lyrics

Lord of the Rings
I don't understand a thing
Can you explain the plot to me
Jackson assumes
That everyone in this room
Knows all of the back-story

I'm in the theater with my friends
Having popcorn and a Coke
Giving courtesy laughs about this film
But I don't get their jokes

I don't know who this Bilbo is
Or how he got that ring
I missed a real important part
When I left to take a pee
I've been lost for at least five hours
And the end is not in sight
So I'm reading The Hobbit
I'm reading The Hobbit
Tonight

So I logged on
To Amazon.com
They shipped it to me fast that week
I read spellbound
About a hole in the ground
Where there lived this little circus freak

I don't want to be the one
Who's never read this book
But right now I cannot tell
A Baggins from a Took

I don't know who this Gollum is
Or why he loves bling bling
Can someone buy him a pair of drawers
To cover his G-string
And who the heck is Precious
This dude just don't seem right
So I'm reading The Hobbit
I'm reading The Hobbit
Tonight

I'll stay up all night long
But man this book seems long
I'm slammin' Mountain Dew
Now I made it to Chapter Two

I don't know who this Gandolf is
Or why he doesn't use a wand
I'm confused by all these dumb subplots
And I'm not even blonde
I don't know why he starts off Grey
But then he dies and he turns White
So I'm reading The Hobbit

Who the heck is Samwise
And why'd he change his name
He used to be Rudy
When he played for Notre Dame
And why did Frodo just kiss Sam
That just don't seem right
So I'm reading The Hobbit
I'm reading The Hobbit
I'm reading The Hobbit
Tonight