One, two!
If you ever hear a noise in the night,
Your body starts to sweat,
It sends shivers up your spine,
You go and sleep with your Mumma, she hates your guts.
She knows that you love her so she holds you tight,
All through the night,
Into the broad daylight,
And when she doesn't come home,
You have to sleep alone,
And then you wet your bed,
And I think that's sad,
For a girl of nineteen,
It's more than sad...
It's obscene!
One, two!
And your girlfriend is sweet,
A little seventeen,
She's got layered hair,
And flared jeans,
You not what I mean?
She's just a little queen,
She says you're not a twat,
She thinks you're a long boots wearing sap.
Although stick some red in it she makes you wear a hat,
And your plum covered PVC wet-look maxi-mac,
You tie your ginger hair back in a bun,
Your the ugliest creature... under the Sun!
One, two!
Go!
One, two!
And you think it's about time that you died,
And I agree,
So you decide on suicide.
You try to break your neck but can't carry it out,
You only wanted to die in order to show her up,
And if you think your going to bleed all over me,
Your even wronger than you'd normally be.
And the only things you want to see are cash,
The only thing you want to be is rich,
You little big uppity nose begins to twitch,
I know, you know, your just a little bitch!
One, two!