Veggie Tales – Kilts and Stilts lyrics
Narrator: And now it's time for silly-
Larry the Cucumber: Hold it!
Narrator: And now it's time for silly songs with Scottish Larry.
The part of the show where Larry comes out and sings a silly Scottish song.
Scooter the Carrot (Scottish Accent): I can't tell ya how proud I am at this moment!
Larry (Allegro): I dance on stilts...
While he knits quilts...
Scooter (Scottish Accent): Nice quilt!
Larry (Scottish Accent): I sing with simulated Scottish island lilt.
Scooter (Scottish Accent): Ah, beautiful!
Larry: He plays his bagpipe...
[Bagpipe]
Eats haggis smelts...
Scooter (Scottish Accent): Haggis!
Larry: We feel so smart in our red tartan Scottish kilts.
Scooter (Scottish Accent): Sing it, lad!
Larry, Jerry Gourd, Jimmy Gourd & Mr. Nezzer: In our... red tartan kilts... We feel so smart in our red tartan Scottish kilts.
Scooter (Scottish Accent): Technically you stitch a quilt, but otherwise lovely!
Jean Claude (French Accent): Top of ze mornin' to you.
Scooter (Scottish Accent, Angrily): I'll have you know that's not in Scotland!
[Rip!]
Larry (Indifferent): I dance on stilts...
Scooter (Scottish Accent, Angrily for the rest of the song): Excuse me, sir!
Larry: He stitches quilts...
Scooter (Scottish Accent for the rest of the song): What ya doin' wit a shamrock?
Larry (Irish Accent): I sing with simulated Northern Irish lilt.
Scooter: Irish?
Larry: He plays his whistle...
[Whistle]
Scooter (taken aback): What?
Larry: Eat salted smelts...
Scooter: It's not on the menu!
Larry: We feel so smart in our green tartan Irish kilts.
Scooter: I've got nothing against me! Irish-
Larry, Jerry, Jimmy & Nezzer: In our... green tartan kilts... We feel so smart in our green tartan Irish kilts...
Scooter: But this is a Scottish song!
Jean Claude (French Accent): Cheep-Cheep-Cheerio!
[Rip!]
Scooter (muffled by the thrown kilt at his face): Ugh!
Larry: I dance on stilts...
He stitches quilts...
Scooter: WHAT ARE YA DOIN'?
Larry (English Accent): I sing with simulated English Cockney lilt.
Scooter: ENGLISH??
[Boomp]
Larry: He plays his trumpet...
[Trumpet]
Scooter (desperately): Ugh!
Larry: Eats crumpet melts...
Scooter: Gimme that crumpet!
Larry, Jerry, Jimmy & Nezzer: We feel so smart in our St. George's English Kilts.
Scooter: Well ya shouldn't!
Larry, Jerry, Jimmy & Nezzer: In our, St. George's kilts...
Scooter: No! Wait!
Larry, Jerry, Jimmy & Nezzer: We feel so smart in-
Scooter (Briefly): No!
Larry, Jerry, Jimmy & Nezzer: -our St. George's English kilts.
Scooter: Oh!
Jean Claude (French Accent): Howdy y'all!
Scooter: Stop it you! You're ruining me moment!
(Accelerando)
Larry: I dance on stilts...
He stitches quilts...
Scooter: American?
Larry: I sing with ordinary unaccented lilt.
Scooter: Oh! Oh! I'm feeling dizzy!
Larry: He plays his banjo...
[Banjo]
Eats cheddar melts...
Scooter: Oh, I'm break ya know!
Larry, Jerry, Jimmy & Nezzer: We feel so smart in our star-spangled striped kilts.
Scooter: Stop it!
Larry, Jerry, Jimmy & Nezzer: In our... star-spangled kilts...
Scooter: Stop that!
Larry, Jerry, Jimmy & Nezzer: We feel so smart in our star-spangled striped kilts.
Scooter (moaning): Uh!
Narrator: This has been silly songs with Scottish Larry. Tune in next time to hear Larry say:
Larry (joyfully): Just get him some scotch tape and butterscotch. He'll be fine!
Scooter: Oh, my Bonnie lies over the ocean!