Chris Moyles – Jason Downs-pints lyrics

Got out the taxi, in the station, in the city
Looking for a hotel that was .. neat and pretty
My father said, boy, those northerners up there
You'd better use the phrase 'Ayup' and don't forget your old flat cap

Who's the fat boy over there
Eating an eclair
I'm gonna teach the fella how to swear
He looks quite frightened like a little deer
Gonna take him down the pub to drink some beer

Got taken to a place that I think was called the ship
Lots of people stood round taking gulps and the odd one taking a sip
I had a good few drinks, in this new city
When I came to I felt hungover so I had to take an asprin and go straight back to bed

Ohhh, what a beautiful pub
I really love this place
I wouldn't rather be anywhere but where I am

Then after the pub we .. watched some tele
After drinking so much beer I was farting couldn't stop and they were quite smelly
Then we decided, we fancied some food
And we went to the local 24 hour garage and said to the guy - Pot Noodle

Who's the fat boy over there
Eating something
Looks like Pot Noodle running down his chin
He better wipe it off or it will cause a stain
And then he won't be able to wear that shirt again

So I brought my clothes and I went to the laundromat
I put in my coins to wash my bits .. a service wash for only £5.50
And on my way back home I .. passed another pub
Was about to move on where I saw a notice on the wall saying something like free beer

Who's the fat boy over there
Eating an eclair
I'm gonna teach the fella how to swear
He looks quite frightened like a little deer
Gonna take him down the pub to drink some beer

Who's the fat boy over there
Eating something
Looks like Pot Noodle running down his chin
He better wipe it off or it will cause a stain
And then he won't be able to wear that shirt again .. 'gain 'gain ..

Ohhh, what a beautiful pub
I really love this place
Ohhh, what a beautiful pub ....